Things I love:
- Christmas music
- Craft projects
- Our new rocking chair
Things I loathe:
- Round ligament pain
- Excessively dry skin
- Trying to pick out the “right” baby products
- 7:30 a.m. doctor’s appointments
- Ikea’s in-store experience
Questions I can’t answer with Google:
- Why is it so hard to find maternity tops that don’t have ribbons and ruffles and fluff and unicorns?
- Why is it so hard to find long-sleeved maternity pajamas? That don’t have ribbons and ruffles and fluff and unicorns?
- How long until you can start training your infant to do the dishes and fetch your slippers?
- Why do M&Ms give me heartburn?
- How am I feeling?
Things I’ve discovered:
- The belly seems to expand in spurts — not gradually as I had always imagined.
- Now I simply imagine my internal organs and abdominal muscles straining against the pressure of the growing fruit salad in my uterus, screaming “HOLD ON! JUST! A LITTLE! LONGER!” before finally giving way. Boof!
- Based on the books and websites I’ve been reading, women tend to describe the early sensation of fetal movement as “butterflies” and “tickling” and “rainbows.” (Alright, no one says rainbows, but I’m sure they think it.) Really? It feels a lot like the muscle twitch you get in your eye when you’re extremely tired or stressed.
- However stressed I think I am about the rapid bodily and life changes that are occuring these nine months, I must remember that my bladder has it even worse.
- While an emergency trip to the hospital can be nerve-wracking and rather inconvenient, it can also be quite productive. In addition to dropping off my pre-registration paperwork, we got a nice four-hour preview of life in the the labor and delivery center, calculated the best route from the car to the emergency registration desk to labor and delivery, met some of the nurses, learned about the blips and lines on the fetal monitor, discovered what take-out restaurants are nearby, and started a mental list of which DVDs and crochet projects to pack for the big event.